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Question by mactrucker1: I am looking for advice on opening a legitimate home based business?
I am looking to open a home based business and dont know how to get it started. does anyone have any advice or suggestions. Also any good ideas for a business.
Best answer:
Answer by evilqueenkimmie
I don?t know what kind of things you?re interested in, but I?d love to share the details about my business with you. I?m a designer with Latasia Jewelry, it is a fantastic, small, (but growing!) family owned company that has been around for over 15 years. The jewelry is beautiful, the people are great and the commissions are super! With Latasia, you are your own boss?You work your own hours, and the sky is the limit on how much you can earn. I can even help you get started for free!
My contact info and website address are available on my profile. Please feel free to contact me and I?ll be happy to help in any way I can! 
Good luck!
What do you think? Answer below!
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Continue reading Intuit shows off MicroMint concept app for the WIMM One smartwatch, we go hands-on
Intuit shows off MicroMint concept app for the WIMM One smartwatch, we go hands-on originally appeared on Engadget on Fri, 30 Mar 2012 07:01:00 EDT. Please see our terms for use of feeds.
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Time and money are both very important in business. Yet, like me, many business people tend to give a lot more specific thought as to how to spend their money. Too often, how we spend our time is only thought of in terms of ?What am I going to do today?? or ?What should I do next??
There are only 24 hours in your day, just the same as everybody else?s and you need to know how to use those 24 hours to your advantage.There are so many simple ways to save time during our busy day that they are easily overlooked. Sometimes we just overlook the obvious. But being prepared with lists, notes, ongoing files, and systems will help you screen out those unwanted distractions and focus on the important matters at hand. So let?s get down to business!
Here are some tips to manage your time:
First and foremost, Set priorities. Determine what is most important. Everything?s not an earth-shattering emergency! Someone else?s perception of a priority does not mean it is so to you. Discern what needs your attention immediately, what can be delegated, and what can be addressed later. Remember, prioritizing is the key to mastering the use of time.Regardless of how your priorities are defined, we could all use some extra time in the day. The following are some time management ideas that can help increase your productivity and improve the quality of your life. Try incorporating just a few of these ideas and see how it affects your life.
1. Plan your day the night before. List and prioritize the top five objectives you desire to accomplish when you get to the office. Start with the number one item on your list and stay with it until it is complete. Try to do the most difficult tasks first.
2. Get to the office early. You will never be successful in the sales profession if you get into the habit of coming to work at the ?crack of noon.?
3. Use a diary or digital organizer. With so much to organise in your busy life you need to record your appointments, things to do and goals somewhere. Preferably in a paper diary or digital organiser that you can take everywhere. This is the most effective way to get things done, plan your work and your life.
4. Get in the habit of using a To Do list every day. At the end of each day, make a list of items to complete the following day. This helps you put closure on the day so you don?t leave worried about forgetting the tasks that await you tomorrow.
5. Clean out the Clutter. You will save yourself heaps of time, energy and money if you clear out your work and home environment?paperwork, books, old equipment etc. You?ll be able to find things, save money because you won?t have to buy what you already have hidden somewhere, plus you?ll be less stressed.
6. Use the Right Tools. It?s no good having the latest whiz-bang computer when the desk that you sit at is too small to accommodate it, or the chair has poor back support, or the lighting is dull causing you eyestrain and fatigue. All these factors heavily influence how you work. Invest or ask for a decent desk, purchase a desk lamp or request the light globes be changed. Don?t avoid the warning signs your body gives you. Take action now before you have eye, back or neck problems.
7. Resolve to do today what you wanted to do tomorrow. Make a catch-up list of tasks you have avoided or put on the ?back-burner? and rank them from the most important to the least important. Resolve to do at least one task from this list each day.
8. Do your most difficult work when you are in your peak performance state. If you?re an early morning person, do that extra-effort-needed project first thing in the morning. If late evening hours are more your speed, save that high-energy project for that time.
9. Place your phone on voicemail mode at strategic times of the day.Voicemail is wonderful for those times when you?re either feeling sluggish, want some quiet time, or just want to get a project
done. You can access your messages later and return calls on a priority basis.
10. Learn to say NO once your priorities are set. Avoid interruptions. Set aside a period of the day as ?off-limits? during which time you will not be interrupted. Use this time to work on your ?A? or top priorities, or even as a designated time to handle your mail or return calls. One way to avoid interruption is to make it clear that when your door is closed you are not to be disturbed. Other way is to Let others in your home/office know when you don?t want to be disturbed.
Constant interruptions are annoying and distracting; they are also time-zappers. Letting people know when it?s ok to interrupt and when it?s not is crucial to time management.
11. Schedule your phone calls around your peak performance levels. You want to give your customers/clients your very best attention and this requires energy and enthusiasm.
12. Avoid Unnecessary Meetings. Before agreeing to attend a meeting, check if you really need to be there. Maybe a phone call or email will be just as effective.
13. When you need a swift response, send an Email or make a phone call whenever possible to avoid time delays in receiving an answer.
14. Do What You Do Best and Delegate the Rest. At work see if there are ways you can delegate tasks which would suit someone else?s talents. Many office and home based workers are spending heaps of time on mundane secretarial tasks which would take a person who is trained in that area a quarter of the time to undertake. Assign tasks to another or others to give you more time to handle the tasks which only you can do. Effectively multiplying your time is the ultimate time management technique. Remember, everything that needs to be done does not have to be done by you. Delegating to another person can save you a lot of time in mundane tasking. Delegate, delegate, delegate. Avoid the temptation of doing administrative duties and paperwork. Salespeople historically tend to hide behind their paperwork. Focus your efforts on the things that you are licensed or hired to do and consider employing someone else to handle your paperwork. If you have any doubt, ask yourself ?What is the best use of my time right now??
15. Instead of a to-do list, create a goal for the day. Throw out the to-do list that never gets done, causes you stress and frustration, and makes you feel like a failure. Instead, set yourself a single goal for the day.
16. Schedule free time. Find at least one day each week during which you do no work or business at all. You will get a better perspective on your work after you have time away from it.
17. Look After Yourself First. Exercise regularly, eat healthily and be around positive people. Feed your mind by attending personal development courses. Read self-help and motivational books, listen to tapes. Do the right thing by yourself and you?ll have heaps of energy, be motivated which in turn will help you be more productive.
Time management really can be easy. A fact! You are in control of your time. If you take away one time management tip, remember that good time management is about knowing what?s most important and doing that the most. Don?t forget the most important time management tip- make time for yourself. You?re no good to anyone if you?re sleep deprived and miserable. We all deserve a little downtime, even if that means you have to schedule some time for yourself into your calendar each day. Your business, family and relationships will all benefit when your priorities are in order and you have balance in your life.
By following these simple yet very effective ideas you will have more control over your work and your life, experience less stress and be more proactive. All of these factors affect your general well-being, confidence and results.
Yes, these strategies are simple and you probably already knew what you need to do, you just haven?t done it yet.Isn?t it time you took action?
Guy Mendelson
guyef@walla.com
http://www.great-money.net
http://www.business-oppurtunity.com
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ScienceDaily (Mar. 29, 2012) ? In addition to being among his most vibrant and celebrated works, Vincent van Gogh's series of sunflower paintings also depict a mutation whose genetic basis has, until now, been a bit of a mystery.
In a study published March 29 in the journal PLoS Genetics, however, a team of University of Georgia scientists reveals the mutation behind the distinctive, thick bands of yellow "double flowers" that the post-Impressionist artist painted more than 100 years ago.
"In addition to being of interest from a historical perspective, this finding gives us insight into the molecular basis of an economically important trait," said senior author John Burke, professor of plant biology in the UGA Franklin College of Arts and Sciences. "You often see ornamental varieties similar to the ones van Gogh painted growing in people's gardens or used for cut flowers, and there is a major market for them."
The most common sunflower phenotype is a composite flower head that contains a single whorl of large, flattened, yellow ray florets on the outer perimeter and hundreds to over a thousand individual, tubular, disc florets that can produce seeds. The double-flowered mutants that van Gogh depicted in many of his paintings, on the other hand, have multiple bands of yellow florets and a much smaller proportion of internal disc florets.
To understand the genetic basis of this difference, Burke and his colleagues began by using the same plant crossing techniques that Gregor Mendel, a 19th century contemporary of van Gogh, used to lay the foundation of modern genetics. The scientists crossed the common, or wild type, variety of sunflower with the double-flowered variety. Their initial findings suggested that a single, dominant gene was responsible for creating the double-flowered mutation. Subsequent crosses of the offspring revealed that a second mutation, which is recessive to both the double-flowered mutation and the wild-type version of the gene, results in a third flower type that is intermediate in form -- being elongated and yellow -- but tubular and containing the reproductive structures of the interior florets.
The scientists identified the responsible gene and sequenced it to show that in the double-flowered mutation, the portion of the gene that functions as an on/off switch is disrupted so that the instructions for making the outer rays are turned on in the portions of the plant that would normally produce the internal disc florets. In the second mutation, which results in the tubular florets, the insertion of a "jumping gene" disrupts the ability of the plant to produce normal ray florets. As a result, tubular florets are produced in place of the normal ray florets.
Finally, the scientists screened hundreds of sunflower varieties -- wild type, double-flowered and tubular -- and found that wild-type sunflower varieties never have a mutation in the HaCYC2c gene, while the double-flowered varieties always have the same mutation in the on/off switch. In addition, the tubular varieties always have a disrupted copy of the gene.
"All of this evidence tells us that the mutation we've identified is the same one that van Gogh captured in the 1800s," Burke said.
Additional authors include former post-doctoral researchers Mark Chapman, Shunxue Tang and Dorthe Draeger, current post-doctoral researchers Savithri Nambeesan and Jessica Barb, undergraduate Honors student Hunter Shaffer and former UGA professor Steven Knapp.
The research was funded by the Gloeckner Foundation Floriculture Grants Program and the National Science Foundation.
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The above story is reprinted from materials provided by University of Georgia. The original article was written by Sam Fahmy.
Note: Materials may be edited for content and length. For further information, please contact the source cited above.
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Source: http://feeds.sciencedaily.com/~r/sciencedaily/~3/CHcQbdHEiQI/120329225232.htm
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By Michael Graczyk, NBCDWF.com
A convicted child sex offender was executed Wednesday in Texas for the beating death of a 10-month-old boy he was baby-sitting at a home in Dallas.
Jesse Joe Hernandez smiled and laughed at times before receiving a lethal injection for the slaying of Karlos Borja 11 years ago.
"God bless everybody. Continue to walk with God," the 47-year-old Hernandez said. Moments later, he shouted "Go Cowboys!" in honor of his favorite football team.
For more, visit NBCDFW.com
As the drugs took effect, the condemned man repeated his appreciation for those he knew who had gathered to witness the execution. "Love y'all, man," Hernandez said. "... Thank you. I can feel it, taste it. It's not bad."
He took about 10 deep breaths, which grew progressively weaker until he was no longer moving. Ten minutes later, at 6:18 p.m. CDT, he was pronounced dead.
No one related to the slain child attended the execution, the fourth this year in Texas. It was carried out about two hours after the U.S. Supreme Court denied last-ditch appeals for Hernandez.
Ten-month-old Karlos was taken to a Dallas hospital in April 2001 with a skull fracture and bruises to his head, thigh and abdomen. A week later, he was taken off life support and died. His 4-year-old sister had similar beating injuries to her head, ears and eyes but survived.
Hernandez's DNA was found in Karlos' blood on a pillowcase and on the child's clothing. The boy's sister drew stick figures for detectives to help describe her attack.
Hernandez denied beating the children but later told a detective he may have hit the boy with a flashlight. He did not include the flashlight reference in a written confession in which he said he "just exploded" and struck them with the back of his hand.
"They were being very bad by crying a lot for nothing," Hernandez wrote.
Howard Blackmon, the former assistant district attorney in Dallas County who prosecuted Hernandez, recalled seeing photos of the badly bruised boy connected to tubes while in the hospital and his sister's red, bruised forehead.
"I don't think Hernandez admitted to any intent to kill," he said. "He did admit to striking."
Jurors saw those images and also learned that Hernandez had a previous conviction for molesting a child and drug possession, had beat his ex-wife with a baseball bat, burned a girlfriend's child with cigarettes and was found with a shank while locked up in jail.
Court records showed Hernandez and his wife of six years had been living with the two children and their 22-year-old mother about three days in a Dallas house that had no running water. Hernandez and his wife were to watch the children while their mother was working as a waitress.
On April 11, 2001, Hernandez's wife left to run some errands. When she returned he told her the kids were sleeping and not to disturb them. Hours later, after their mother returned from work, the girl complained her head was hurting and the mother took her to a hospital. While they were gone, Hernandez's wife checked on Karlos, discovered his injuries and called paramedics. Police were then notified.
In trying to stop the execution, Hernandez's attorneys unsuccessfully argued that his trial lawyers were deficient because they didn't pursue evidence that the boy was prematurely removed from life support and had toxic levels of the drug pentobarbital in his blood. The same barbiturate is used in the execution process in Texas.
The attorneys also claimed an initial appeals lawyer did not investigate the case beyond the trial record and that failure cost Hernandez his lone opportunity to raise substantive legal claims following his conviction.
Brad Levenson, director of the Texas Office of Capital Writs, said a more thorough investigation could have shown Hernandez wasn't responsible for the child's death.
The Texas attorney general's office opposed any delay, questioning whether the high court even had jurisdiction in the case because constitutional claims weren't raised earlier in state courts.
At least six other condemned Texas inmates have execution dates scheduled for the coming months.
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Source: http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/03/29/10920743-sex-offender-yells-go-cowboys-as-hes-executed
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Overview
Washington, DC-based non-profit entertainment organization is seeking a Communications Coordinator to support the internal and external communications efforts of our organization. The ideal candidate will have the ability to work both independently and with the team in a dynamic and growing organization. Excellent written and verbal communication skills, time management capability, a positive demeanor, and willingness to put in extra hours when required are a must. This position is ideal for a self-starter who can prioritize competing demands and demonstrate responsibility, while meeting established critical deadlines.
The individual will be a critical member to the communications department in a growing organization. S/he will be expected to work with the Communications and Operations Coordinator, and report into the VP of Communications.
Responsibilities:
Requirements:
To apply
Candidates must submit resume, cover letter and three writing samples to ?jobs@soundexchange.com
?
Source: http://soundexchange.com/2012/03/29/communications-coordinator/
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Source: http://www.aspendailynews.com/section/home/152521
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March 28, 2012 by SpottedRichard
Beginning with apologies for a blatant format swipe of recipe and song from Steenbeck?s blog!? It?s wonderful, if you haven?t yet checked it out.
Tincanman?s challenge this week has started the gastric juices flowing. Some wonderful recipes (some new and some old family favourites) have been hinted at, alluded to and one already offered by Fintan on the Challenge itself.
Edit: We?ll start by asking you to share your favourite barbeque recipes here, adding an appropriate song or tune to go with the recipe.? It doesn?t need to be a barbeque themed song ? you can post that on the Challenge.? We can cover grilling meat, fish, vegetables and marshmallows (!) next week, and salads and deserts after that, if there is sufficient interest.
?
Dig in.
And Fintan, what is your Shrimp recipe called?
And thanks to the Ranting Chef for stopping by yesterday.
?
Grilled Corn (Great with mayo and chile powder)
One blogger likes this post.
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And yes, yes I do like basing roleplays off of childhood games.
Wikipedia says:
"A Kiss chase is a tag variant in which tagging is performed by kissing.
All members of one gender are 'it' at once and chase the opposite sex until everyone is caught, when the roles are reversed.
A variant is that the player chosen to be 'it' will, with assistance from those of the same gender,
chase all members of the opposite sex and kiss one of them, who is then 'it' on behalf of the other gender."
Idea:
In a rich and very illustrious high school, there's this game that the students play, basically, a hyped-up version of the children's game known as Kiss Chase.
At the beginning of the year, All Seniors and Freshman are "forced" into it, as a part of initiation and a goodbye.
(Sophomores and Juniors are spared unless they join voluntarily)
The game expands through the whole school year, and the last person to have gone without being kissed gets a prize of their choice,
from a beautiful car, to tons of money, or anything else they can think of.
Wikipedia Says:
Cops and Robbers, sometimes called 'Jail Tag', 'Team Tag', 'Chase', 'Police and Thief', 'Prisoner's Base', 'Jailbreak', or 'Manhunt" has players split into two teams:
cops (the 'it' team who are in pursuit) and robbers (the team being chased).
The cops arrest the robbers by tagging, and put them in jail. Robbers can stage a jailbreak by tagging one of the prisoners without getting tagged themselves.
The game ends if all the robbers are in jail. In a variant, the robbers have 5 minutes to hide before being hunted, and only one jailbreak may be allowed per robber.
Idea:
A group of Thieves have sent a proposition to the local cops,
"You catch all of us, we serve our sentence,
If you don't,
We get a clean slate."
So now the city is in the middle of a very life-threatening game of
Cops and Robbers.
(Remake of They'll Rob You Blind)
Source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/RolePlayGateway/~3/PKhi71CsnRo/viewtopic.php
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Public release date: 26-Mar-2012
Share ] Contact: Carolann Murphy
CMurphy@KesslerFoundation.org
973-324-38382
Kessler Foundation
West Orange, NJ -- The National Multiple Sclerosis Society (NMSS) has re-funded a Postdoctoral Fellowship Training Grant in Multiple Sclerosis (MS) at Kessler Foundation. The total award is $383,000 for five years beginning on July 1st, 2012. This grant provides advanced training in rehabilitation research for scientists working toward careers dedicated to improving the lives of people with MS. Three postdoctoral fellows will be funded by the new grant.
John DeLuca, PhD, VP of Research & Training serves as principal investigator for both the original grant as well as the newly funded proposal. Dr. DeLuca, PhD, oversees Kessler Foundation's six research laboratories, which conduct physical and cognitive research in spinal cord injury, brain injury, and stroke, as well as MS. Dr. DeLuca was the director of Neuropsychology and Neuroscience Research at Kessler Foundation for 18 years as well as for its post-doctoral fellowship program in neuropsychology. His collaborative work in cognitive rehabilitation extends to Italy and China. He has obtained more than $26 million in grant funding to support his work and is the editor of four recent books, including the 'Encyclopedia of Clinical Neuropsychology.'
This new NMSS grant is one of several external and internal grants that fund Kessler Foundation's Post-doctoral Fellowship program, which has a >20-year history of successful research training for young scientists. All Fellows are required to submit an NIH grant application, submit at least one manuscript for publication for each year of training and present their research at national conferences. The goal of the program is to nurture fellows' enthusiasm for rehabilitation research by providing them with mentors who teach the necessary skills and methodology in science and also serve as role models for success in the field of MS rehabilitation.
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About Kessler Foundation
Kessler Foundation, the largest public charity in the field of disability, conducts rehabilitation research in mobility and cognition that advances the care of people with multiple sclerosis, brain injury, stroke and spinal cord injury. Kessler Foundation Program Center fosters new approaches to the persistently high rates of unemployment among people disabled by injury or disease.
Find us at KesslerFoundation.org and on Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.
Contact:
Carolann Murphy, PA; 973-324-8382; CMurphy@KesslerFoundation.org
Lauren Scrivo; 973-324-8384; Lscrivo@KesslerFoundation.org
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Public release date: 26-Mar-2012 Share ] Contact: Carolann Murphy
CMurphy@KesslerFoundation.org
973-324-38382
Kessler Foundation
West Orange, NJ -- The National Multiple Sclerosis Society (NMSS) has re-funded a Postdoctoral Fellowship Training Grant in Multiple Sclerosis (MS) at Kessler Foundation. The total award is $383,000 for five years beginning on July 1st, 2012. This grant provides advanced training in rehabilitation research for scientists working toward careers dedicated to improving the lives of people with MS. Three postdoctoral fellows will be funded by the new grant.
John DeLuca, PhD, VP of Research & Training serves as principal investigator for both the original grant as well as the newly funded proposal. Dr. DeLuca, PhD, oversees Kessler Foundation's six research laboratories, which conduct physical and cognitive research in spinal cord injury, brain injury, and stroke, as well as MS. Dr. DeLuca was the director of Neuropsychology and Neuroscience Research at Kessler Foundation for 18 years as well as for its post-doctoral fellowship program in neuropsychology. His collaborative work in cognitive rehabilitation extends to Italy and China. He has obtained more than $26 million in grant funding to support his work and is the editor of four recent books, including the 'Encyclopedia of Clinical Neuropsychology.'
This new NMSS grant is one of several external and internal grants that fund Kessler Foundation's Post-doctoral Fellowship program, which has a >20-year history of successful research training for young scientists. All Fellows are required to submit an NIH grant application, submit at least one manuscript for publication for each year of training and present their research at national conferences. The goal of the program is to nurture fellows' enthusiasm for rehabilitation research by providing them with mentors who teach the necessary skills and methodology in science and also serve as role models for success in the field of MS rehabilitation.
###
About Kessler Foundation
Kessler Foundation, the largest public charity in the field of disability, conducts rehabilitation research in mobility and cognition that advances the care of people with multiple sclerosis, brain injury, stroke and spinal cord injury. Kessler Foundation Program Center fosters new approaches to the persistently high rates of unemployment among people disabled by injury or disease.
Find us at KesslerFoundation.org and on Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.
Contact:
Carolann Murphy, PA; 973-324-8382; CMurphy@KesslerFoundation.org
Lauren Scrivo; 973-324-8384; Lscrivo@KesslerFoundation.org
[ | E-mail | Share ] ?
AAAS and EurekAlert! are not responsible for the accuracy of news releases posted to EurekAlert! by contributing institutions or for the use of any information through the EurekAlert! system.
Source: http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2012-03/kf-kfr032612.php
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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
March 26, 2012
Contact: Elizabeth Hall, Senior Web Editor
(800) 543-2055? (703) 905-8000
editor@BusinessManagementDaily.com
Business Alert: How to Make the Transition from Manager to Leader
Falls Church, Va. ??Almost any head of a company or CEO will concur that great leaders aren?t born, they?re made. However, not every manager can be an exceptional leader. Going from a manager to a leader involves inward reflection and certain intrinsic values (such as attitude and thoughts). Discover five key questions corporate managers should ask themselves to become a great leader.
According to Business Management Daily contributor Mike Winstanley, ?True leaders look inward every day and take stock of themselves. As simple as it sounds, it?s the step most overlooked by managers in their journey to becoming leaders.?
Winstanley adds, ?That?s why managers who aspire to be leaders (and, believe me, there is a difference) must constantly ask themselves thought-provoking questions and answer those questions honestly.?
Here are five crucial questions Winstanley suggests every manager who wants to be a leader should ask themselves:
1. What does ?it? look like? Many people struggle with their leadership abilities because they?ve never stepped back and thought about what it means to truly be a leader. Ask yourself the question, ?What are the characteristics embodied by leaders I admire??
2. How?s my attitude? How do you feel about your job and employer? If managers think their working conditions stink, they?re underpaid and their bosses hate them, they?ll pass this attitude on to their employees. Attitudes are contagious, and attitudes affect behavior and job performance. As a leader, you have to be conscious of your attitude?s impact on your team and the people around you. Then work to eliminate the negative behaviors that result from it.
3. How do I stack up? Do an honest self-appraisal. Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 as to how well you think you?re doing on each task on a daily basis. That will give you a ballpark idea of where you?re at. Then ask yourself what a ?10? looks like for each item. Put it into specific behavioral terms. This will give you a beginning picture as to what you have to do (or stop doing) to become a better leader.
4. What?s my real value? Managers must ask what value they bring to the organization. How do they affect the corporate bottom line? Remember, your company expects a return on its investment. Managers should assess their true value and put it in terms of how the company profits from the things they do on a day-to-day basis.
5. Do I believe? Do you truly believe you can become a great leader? If you have doubts, analyze why. Don?t blame your company or boss for holding you back. Honestly ask yourself if it?s inside of you to be a leader OR are if you have any fears of being a success or failure.
Winstanley adds, ?Don?t try to change everything at once ? it may be too overwhelming. Try working on one item at a time. Small steps make for an easier journey.?
Winstanley concludes, ?Finally, remember that this self-analysis is what successful leaders do all the time. It?s part of their daily schedule.?
For more information and the full article visit www.BusinessManagementDaily.com.
Business Management Daily provides plain-English, actionable news, information and tips to busy professionals in the areas of human resources, leadership, management, administrative skills, office technology, employment law, tax and more. Subscribe to our free e-newsletters and download our free reports. Follow us on Twitter at @BizDaily or ?Like? us on Facebook. ?
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With 2.3 million inmates behind bars in the US, the goal of volunteers in mentor programs for the 2.7 million children of prisoners is: No child left alone. Despite government cuts in funding, the programs continue.
By G. Jeffrey MacDonald,?Correspondent / March 25, 2012
Kayla Booze was a happy 9-year-old who loved art projects and was an A-student in elementary school ? before the police came for her father.
Skip to next paragraphKayla's childhood sunshine was eclipsed when her dad was convicted in 2005 of murder for shooting a man in a barbershop fight and sentenced to life in a Mississippi federal prison. Kayla grew guarded and angry, says Brandy Booze, Kayla's mother, who was left to raise three daughters on her own as a part-time retail saleswoman. Faltering grades and disinterest put the child at risk of dropping out of New Orleans schools.
It was a familiar spiral for kids like Kayla and her two younger sisters, who belong to a little-known American population that is highly vulnerable and mostly invisible: the children left behind by the US inmate population of 2.3 million. There are an estimated 2.7 million children with a parent behind bars, according to a Pew Center on the States report. And that's up from 950,000 in 1987 when 1 out of every 125 kids had a parent in jail or prison; today it's 1 in 28. Among African-American children, it's 1 in 9.
The strains and shame of parental incarceration compound other childhood challenges, from poverty to an unstable home life. So these children are more at risk than others of ending up in prison themselves.
But Kayla, now 17, was detoured from that route and is making decent grades in high school. She's teaching herself piano and preparing for college and a career in fashion design.
A key factor in her turnaround: Her mother hasn't been alone in guiding the kids. Kayla has a mentor ? Brenda Williams ? who meets her every two weeks for an outing to church, a meal, or a stroll in a park. So when a principal called a meeting to discuss poor grades last year, at the table with Mom was Ms. Williams, who was matched with Kayla in 2009 through a federal faith-based initiative called Mentoring Children of Prisoners (MCP).
Williams's role in Kayla's life, says the teen, "motivated me because it was more than [just my mother] telling me that I had to do what I had to do. [My mentor] wants to see me succeed, to write books, and have that fashion line. But I can't do that if I don't graduate...."
The MCP support system that brought Kayla and Williams together was a $49 million annual program that, between 2003 and last September, paired more than 100,000 children of prisoners with volunteer mentors. A legacy of the George W. Bush administration's faith-based initiative that aimed to deliver a larger share of social services through religious organizations, MCP steered money to agencies, some faith-based and some not, to partner with churches and other organizations in recruiting and training mentors.
But the program came to an abrupt end because of federal budget cuts last September.
At the time, advocates for the program said mentors would soon stop meeting with their mentees. "In big cities, you're going to see less and less mentoring because there's not federal money to support it," predicted Beth Lovell, director of family strengthening for Volunteers of America, a faith-based group and MCP grantee. "Where there's federal money, that's what people will move to. It's just business."
But a six-month Monitor investigation of the former MCP projects found that mentoring has not withered.
More than a dozen agencies nationwide report that most of the MCP matches continue to meet and receive staff support when occasional problems arise. Reporting on the ground in four cities found relationships to be resilient despite tough circumstances.
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Hi. I don't know where to begin or what to say. Please bear with me, english isn't my first language. My wife and I had been together for 10 years, married for 3 and have a 7 year old son.
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I betrayed my wife over the course of the last 3 months. It started as an emotional affair, but quickly grew into a physical and sexual affair, and it was such an ego boost for me that even though I wanted to stop, most of the time I didn't want to stop. My wife found out after she had been having suspicions for a month on and off - she woke me up with evidence of our conversations that were very intimate and explicit. I was in shock, I couldn't deny it, I didn't want to admit it, my lies caught up with reality and I wanted to escape. When she woke me up she was shaking and said that she loved me and that we could work through anything and asked whether I was in love with the other woman. I was empty inside, and somehow all I wanted was my phone, I don't know why but at that moment I felt this wasn't happening and if I can just get my phone I could lie, deny and cover it up. That obviously wasn't the right reaction, but I couldn't help it. She was then furious, we had an argument about my phone and she left. She didn't have anywhere to go and ended going to my parents and her parents, told them that I had been having an affair and came back with her mother who took my son and I couldn't say or do anything, I just had to keep out of their way. I rushed to work as I was already late and knew that I would be stuck in traffic, but I also wanted to get there as soon as possible as the woman I had been having an affair with is one of my co-workers, I wanted to let her know what was going on.
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I can't say that I was or am in love with this woman, but I have to admit that I did develop feelings for this woman, as we just got along well, we were too honest with each other and I stepped over the boundaries with my communication with her. It actually started with a kiss at a work function/lunch where we had too much to drink, and from then on we started e-mailing, texting and talking at work. We eventually went out for lunch a couple of times and became intimate. We planned work trips where we could sleep over and that is where the affair became sexual. We exchanged very explicit messages that I am ashamed of if I think about them, and the worst part is, my wife probably has all of these, and I can't begin to imagine how much it pains her to know that I let alone physically betrayed her, but emotionally as well, especially with all the conversations we shared. She has quoted some of the conversations to me and I am deeply ashamed of the content.
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I apologize for the length of this, but I need to get it out.
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The same day my wife discovered, she showed up at my workplace and wanted to confront the other woman in the reception area. I went instead and there was a huge scene where I had to force my wife outside to try and get her to have the confrontation outside. I then got the other woman to come with me to see my wife and I had another reaction which my wife is now also holding against me. She put her hand out and I immediately thought she was going to attack the other woman, so I got in between them, this was the worst thing I could do as my wife and her mother, who was there as well, reckon I defended the other woman and did not stand by my wife. I can understand that, and it hurts me to think that maybe subsconciously, that could be what I did.
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My wife can be very impulsive at times, and she went to lawyers that same day, with the evidence and started to file for divorce. I left work late and I could not go home, my wife threw out all my clothes (packed them in the garage for me to collect) and kicked me out of the house. I managed to hold her for a while, but knew that I couldn't even try to argue with her or try to stay. I stayed over at my parents and I had to go to work the next day. I did have contact with the other woman on both those days, Thursday and Friday as well as on Saturday. And unfortunately, for the time being I can't avoid her at work. We lied at work and people seem to believe our story that we had only been messaging each other and that my wife overreacted. I feel bad about this, and feel that it's just more disrespect for my wife, but I really can't afford to lose my job as we are also in a lot of debt since my wife quit her job at the end of last year.
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I have been texting my wife over and over since Saturday, asking for a chance, for forgiveness, for a chance to talk, but she is now emotionally shut down when it comes to me and we unfortunately have also had a few fights as well. She is adamant about getting a divorce and she says she hates me and that she doesn't want me back. She says after me not being there, or not producing some kind of gesture on the Thursday (discovery) and Friday that she will never give me a chance, and that I blew my chance as those were the only days that she was susceptible to me asking for a chance. I always thought that if I did something like this, that I would lose her, maybe that was why I reacted the way I did, I probably already accepted that I'd lose her.
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I don't really want to mention this, and it is not the reason that I fell into this trap, but it did leave me more vulnerable - 3 years ago, 4 months after our wedding, my wife got drunk at a party while I was home sick with chicken pox, a guy we knew took her home, but when they got to our house she didn't want to go home. They ended up at his house, had sex and she came home the following day and confessed. It completely broke me, and even though I felt I couldn't judge her and felt that he took advantage, it was still a betrayal, and it probably took me the most of the last 3 years to try and cope with it, all the while we were fighting and struggled to have a normal relationship. But it got better, and we had plans, she was going to stay at home, we were planning to have 2 more kids and even though I wasn't entirely happy, looking back now that was the perfect plan for me, for us.
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How did I get here? It's been almost 10 days, and I can't see any glimpse of hope that she'll give me a chance to earn her trust, love and forgiveness. Throughout the last year I have read so many stories of hope and healing around unfaithfullness - And I feel even worse now than when I started typing, I know the pain, I have read it in so many stories, how could I have done this? What kind of a man am I?
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She is the love of my life, I cannot bear to be without her a day longer, all I want to do is hold her and know that we will be ok, tell her that we will be ok, and know that she believes it. I am going to lose her, my son, my life for nothing, absolutely nothing. I don't want to lose her, I want to have a chance to make it right, I am so miserable and I need help. How do I get thorugh to my wife? How can I speak to her heart, I have tried so many times, but I all I seem to see in her eyes is hate and utter disgust for me. How do I save my marriage?
Source: http://www.focusonlinecommunities.com/thread/23865
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I think this has to do with spending a lot of time on the computer.
I come home lots of nights and feel absolutely invisible. Talking to the birds and my baby helps. Listening to music helps. Cleaning house helps. Any action performed in the three dimensions that we physically live in, helps.
The problem is that when you do something for 40 hours a week, that is long, long hours of behavioral conditioning. All those computer, screen hours are spent in a place where my immediate location is irrelevant---all I'm doing is being the eye in the sky (eye in the screen) tapping on a keyboard, plugged into the hive mind. I am not "in" the present.
And, looking around, I see that lots and lots of people are in the same boat. Do they have that weird feeling by the end of the day? People on that thread blame the original poster for smoking pot, but that probably relieves his symptoms, rather than exacerbating them; besides, he says he had this problem long before he ever smoked pot. I would imagine pot would help, alcohol would aggravate...in fact the alternative smokes I favor do help quite a bit, if only to loosen up the clenched jaw that results from a day in the void digesting and regurgitating the rotten news of the day in broadcast format. So there I am in my head. But only in my head.
I might need to get a baby bird companion. When Bernie was here with me he helped a lot. Lots of work though.
Besides, that doesn't change the fact that when you spend 8 hours in two dimensions, existing not in your body but only your mind, it is an alteration of reality--the reality that the human mind has dealt in for millenia.
Suddenly, all of humanity stares into screens for most of the day.
This is why I am afraid maybe I agree with the responding person who says the OP's problem is a spiritual ache because he's coming to the realization that we all are doomed.
I think it is possible that people are literally unable to save themselves from tyranny because they have been coerced/tricked into living in two dimensions only, and the actual work of self-governing must be done in three dimensions---the dimensions in which people actually have conversations with each other.
People are losing the ability to communicate, to bridge differences. I am seeing this before my own eyes. In the workplace, computers have been an effective way for upper-upper echelon managers to ignore the effects of their edicts upon the troops. Send an email or a memo, never talk to or interact with the employees, much less painful to lay them off fire them. The role of the computer in corporate culture is a sociological study that I'll be guessing has never actually taken place, despite a world rich with opportunity. Why aren't universities and think tanks studying a change in human communications that has massive everyday impacts upon human behavior?
I am thinking that this might just be because computers and living in two dimensions enhances the ability to deal with multiple-choice options (searching) but does nothing for one's ability to imagine or intuit new ways of doing things..in the three dimensions.
It is a terrible problem, because the computer also makes knowledge-sharing possible in a way it never was before. We are all connected to the hive mind through the wires.
But is it good for democracy?
I know self-governing seems tantalizingly possible through the Net. But I also know those Arab Spring uprisings brought together a whole bunch of demonstrators who knew what they wanted, but did not have the solid community structures to step in and take over governance. There are certainly communications tools available in a way that never has been possible before.
But, when one considers how the computer has impacted everyday relationships, there are troubling signs. If people cannot even make eye contact in the elevator---if they must have their eyes on their hand-held device the whole time---are these people one can expect to communicate enough with others to create democratic communities?
People need to be able to be in the present with other people. "Occupy" knew that, which is why they did what they did. The rest of the world? They seem to be perfectly fine with the idea that someone else will do the job of democracy..for them.
(Overheard: discussion about race. "Have you ever seen any Japanese homeless people?" says one person. The other agrees, there are no Japanese homeless people.
Except for the really nice Japanese kid who slept in our carport for a year and a half and read textbooks every night. Really quiet kid who would chase off the drug addicts. Never bothered anyone.
"Work ethic" was another phrase I heard...but I can't hear most of the conversation. Which is probably a good thing.)
Source: http://exiledinhollywood.blogspot.com/2012/03/computer-communication-eroding-human.html
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