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Dear No More,
So, three times a year your husband disappoints you in the gifts department. This gripe is worth talking about, but your planned discourse has a rather legalistic feel: ?The party of the first part notifies the party of the second part that tokens of acknowledgment of Christmas, our anniversary, and my birthday will be sent back for adjudication if they have been purchased or promised within a designated period of less than 72 hours prior to said celebration. ?? Lighten up, and instead of pouting and making demands, develop a joint giving strategy that will meet your needs. Tell your husband that you?ve felt slighted by his lack of planning for big occasions and that doing something special for each other is important to you. So for Christmas this year, you?d like to go shopping together. While you?re out, each identify several gifts you would enjoy, then split up and go off to make the ?surprise? purchases. Instead of having your anniversary be a gift-giving exchange, jointly plan an event such as a weekend away or dinner at a great restaurant. For your birthday, at least two weeks in advance, hand your husband some catalogs with items circled and say, ?If you order one of these now, you won?t be shopping at CVS the day of my birthday, and I won?t end up in tears.? Comfort yourself that most letters to this column that begin with the phrase ?My wonderful husband? end with the news that he is ?a lecher,? ?an alcoholic,? ?a mamma?s boy,? or ?wearing my pantyhose.?

Source: http://feeds.slate.com/click.phdo?i=78e1f4d05b79e3e4927794040f880250

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